A disfunctional family
by Amanda Strange
Summary: Even though i have had a lot of goodfeedback on this story, but not enough, this story is on hiatus until further notice Me and My co-writer LittleMewLuigia are sorry, but heve a diffrent story that needs finishing, sorry. but it will continue. DISCONTINUED


Disclaimer/Authors note.:.I sadly do not own transformers, but if i did there would be a whole lot of mech/human sex and shia lebouf would be my bitch (btw i respect and honor shia lebouf and love him like a brother but i see him in that boyfriend material kinda way) so on with what ever this story is about cause honestly i am literally just making it up as i go. And as always flamers will not be appreciated, but if you wanna read my story and make fun of it, go right ahead, (in a darth vader kinda voice) but know this, for every flamer that leaves their snide remarks and hatred behind for the authors misery you will be haunted by the one we call the Desolate one, and you will live in a life full of pain and sorrow wond-(cough cough cough-gag-gasp-cough) Jeez i can't do it like i used to, well anyway you know beware and what not. On with the story.

Warning-I might decide to include myself in this story as Sam sister cause I'm in one of thos kinds of moods. I know it doesn't go with the whole transformers thing but you know its fanfiction, so MY WAY!!!!!!!! Enjoy.

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Frenzy was missing, thats not unusual for the little spaz monkey but what was unusual was that he Hasn't been heard from for almost five hours now and Barricade couldn't find him anywhere and was getting extremly annoyed very quickly.

He wasn't so much as worried as to what Frenzy had gotten himself into as much as he was about what Soundwave would do to him if Frenzy was damaged in any way. Even the smallest little scuff on the little spazmastic hacker could set Soundwave off and end with Barricade in the medbay in the ever so "gentle" care of Hook or Ratchet instead of Dr,Syn or Groundhog, Who he very much preferred.

As Barricade kept a visual for his twitchy partner in crime, he also kept the police radio waves open for any activity that would signal Frenzy's psychotic antics. Especially centering around any major electronics stores like Bestbuy or Circuitcity (i know Circuitcity went out of buisness but just work with me here). He really didn't want a repeat of last time where Frenzy was so bored and hiped up on high grade oil that he broke into Radio Shack and raided the psp and ipod cabinets and inadvertenly set off the alarms thus involving not only the cops but the Autobots as well. That very incident leading to the peace treaty between the Decepticons and Autobots. Though the two factions are still a little sketchy around eachother. Though thats a story for another time, (literally)

Barricade had just about given up searching when he recieved a com signal coming from Bumblebee, One of the few autobots he trusted.

"Hey Barricade are missing something?" Bumblebee inquired amusedly

"Yes, do you know where he is?" Was Barricades relieved reply.

"Yeah, Sam found him trying to turn a squirral into a frisby at the park. We-Mandy mostly-had to man handle him away from that evil rat thing and is still holding him down in my backseat right now."

"Evil rat thing?" Barricade asked confusedly

"Yes evil rat thing, those thing are just waiting for the right moment to attack. one minute your thinking 'Awww look the cute little squirrel' and then BAM!!! they swarming you and dragging you into their lair to do god knows what. Didn't you see the Willy Wonka remake?"

"Well yeah but you gotta admit that little brat had it coming to her. Anyway, how is Frnzy? Is he giving Mandy a fight?"

At that moment Mandy decided to enter the covorsation after being punched in the face by an errant little freaky hacker robot.

"Yes! How the hell do you handle him dude? Hes like the literall defintion of spaz child. I bet four months of my allowance and chores that his picture is in the Dictionary right next to the defintion." Mandy yelled out quite disgruntled at the fact that she was getting her hair pulled by Frenzy who had some how gotten on her back. Sam all the while watching and laughing histerically.

"I doubt that but it wouldn't be surprising. I guess i'll meet you guys at the base then, Barricade out,"

"Bye." Bumblebee replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~At the Decepticon/Autobot base~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As The saleen mustang rolled into the base and transforming, Barricade saw Bumblebee drive in after him, letting out his three passengers but not with out having his back seat ripped by Fenzy's claws while being dragged out by Mandy and her inhuman strengh that should have belonged to a pro-wrestler instead of her small form.

"My seats, that little Gemlin is so dead!" Bumblebee whined irritatedly while transforming.

"Now you know how I feel." Barricade said as he proceeded towards the yellow Autobot all the while watching as Mandy struggled to disentangle herself from the madly chittering hacker on the floor.

"Why is he trying to fight her still, we're at the base he should have let go by now." Bumblebee asked confusedly

Barricade just shrugged. "He does things that has even Soundwave questioning his programming. Hey Frenzy Quid-pro-quo!!!."

After hearing that Frenzy finally relinquished his hold on Mandy's prized red curls and fell to the floor with his legs spread out,like a toddlers at playtime,looking dazed and confused looking up at Barricade with no real reason at all. Mandy just happy to have the little bugger off of her and out of her hair, literally.

"Quid-pro-quo?" Sam asked from his spot on the ground next to Mandy and her dishelved self.

"I don't know why but it confuses him, Soundwave uses it on all of his team. They just sit there like that for hours on end looking like that trying to figure out what it means, can't tell you how many times Frenzy drove himself into overload while doing that."Barricade explained as he bent down and picked up Frenzy by the scruff of his neck-what would be his scruff in Frenzy's case.

"It does wonders for me sometimes."

Mandy furrowed her brows in confusion and ask"So you just say that and he goes from psycho robo from hell to little darling from heaven just like that." She said snapping her fingers for emphasis.

"Well, theres others that He uses, like Noodle Doodle dodle, Flipper tackle spack, you know anything that sounds confuseing, Advanced as they may be their easily confused, Frenzy and Ravage more so than the others." The mustang mimick explained as the group proceeded through the base entrance where and assortment of humans on staff and a couple of mech's here and there milling about. Everyone was hurrying about like something important was supposed to be going on soon and were in a hurry to get it done.

"What do you think is going on?" Mandy asked no one in particular.

"I heard there might be new arrivals orbiting earth's atmosphere getting ready to come in, Optimus thinks it might be a mixture of Autobot and Decepticons judging from there faint com signals. Though no ones sure." Bumblebee stated matter-of-factly.

"Personally i hope its more 'Cons, i need some one other than Blackout and Bonecrusher to talk to, those two are like weird and creep me out." Barricade shuttered.

"Same here." Bumblebee sharing the same feeling adding his own shutter along with Mandy.

As the small group came into the main hangar of the base they saw Optimus, Ratchet, Starscream, Ironhyde, Hook, and Soundwave gathered around the main computer Argueing amongst themselves. Although it didn't seem like it was a bad thing judgeing how come they talking. It was amazing that they were calm and not trying to rip each others vocal processor's out.

All the other mechs standing on the sidelines just watching. Mandy climbed the stairs up the cat walk where her mom was. Standing with Ravage and Rumble, Buzzsaw and Laserbeak perched on the railing.

"Yo mom, whats going on?" Mandy asked while watching Barricade deposit Frenzy next to rumble and joining the mismatched group of autobots and decepticons below.

"I know as much as you dear, they were talking to someone called Firstaid and Thundercracker over the radio and then the signal went dead, but thats all i know an-What happened to your head?!!?" Judy asked in shock

"Oh um Frenzy got away from Barricade and we found him in the park trying to turn a squirrel inside out, it was actually kinda cool to watch but then there were people watching and cell phones started to come out and you know, i had to wrestle him away from the little rodent. I am quite proude of these scratches. Battle scars really." Mandy said proudly. Most of the Decepticons standing next to the catwalk listening in on the coversation and laughing, thinking Mandy was possibly a Decepticon in a past life.

"Well you certainly are my daughter, you got your looks and strength from me and your humor from your father. So what did you tell the people in the park this time?"

"That me and Sam were students at a near by advanced technologies school that prepped teenage genius' to work for the government in the future, and created advanced hi-tech new weapons for the military and Frenzy was an escaped experiment and got away while we were on our lunch break and weren't watching him properly, I got the usual response ' the government is now recruiting our children? well not my baby.' Bunch of dumbasses." Mandy explained boredly as she petted Ravages massive cat like head, who purred greatfully.

Judy just looking at her daughter strangly and the Decpeticons below looking impressed.

"How did you come up with all that honey?"

"Make it up as i go, Lieing comes easily to me." Mandy said proudly. "Plus when your around Decepticons long enough their habits start to rub off on you."

Judy clicked her toungue and sighed, not exactly comfortable that Mandy was good at lieling because of Decepticons but let it go. The calm arguement suddenly stopped at Starscream's happy 'whoo' at getting back the radios signal. Then Megatrons voice came through the speaker.

"Megatron to base, Megeatron to base, do you copy? Repeat do y-OW DAMMIT Slagging astroid belt, why does this planet need it anyway its completely unnessecary. now my helm is dented. Great and i just got that slag polished. I hate this planet. Base are you there or not?!!"

"We hear you loud and clear Megatron, where are you?" Optimus responded.

"Saturn." Mandy said under her breath predicting Megatrons response before he replied.

"I'm right next to saturns astroid belt and having the slag kicked outta me by these stupid space rocks," Megatron yelled angerly.

"Ok whats your status? Have you found anybody else?" Optimus inquired amusedly.

"Yeah, I sent Firstaid, Inferno, Redalert, Thundercracker, Skywarp and Misfire aheah of me to get you ready for us and i have Mudflap, Skids, and Jolt with me, although i honestly wish I had sent the twins with the others, i'm going through hell right now." Megatron stated miserably

"If you cain't handel us then you a pussy, Megabitch." Mudflaps voice came out the speaker

"I swear to Primus Optimus, if they call me Megabitch one more time I will offline them myself. I'm not kidding." Megatron irritatedly stated.

"Wait till you get home, then we'll think of their punishment." Optimus siad happily.

"Fine, Megatron ou-OWWWW!!!!!!!!! SLAGGING SPACE ROCKS I HATE THIS PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mudflap and skids could be heard laughing histarically over the radio and Jolt asking if Megatron was ok. Megatron just ignoring everyone now.

"I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Megatron yelled.

"We'll see you when you get here Megatron, Base out." Optimus said.

"Whatever."

After the signal died Optimus Turned to the group of mechs and humans that were waiting for orders on what to prepare for.

"We have Nine incoming Mechs that should be here around midday tomorrow though i'm not sure, so best be prepared for sooner, I want the catch nets ready and waiting for the incoming mechs and medical aid ready also, Lets just hope that Megatron hasn't killed anyone by the time they all get here, We have six mechs that will arive before the others three of them seekers, So the seeker catch nets should be ready also, Now that everyone has their instructions get moving, i want everything up in the next hour, no complaints." Optimus stated and everyone was in a flurry to get everything ready, Five minutes after an hour later catch nets were up and ready just in time as six meteors came crashing into the nets.

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Well theres the prototype chapter, i want to see what everyone thinks of it before i continue te story. so everyone who reads please review, if you can't review then email me at and let me know, also No flamers please but go head if you really think its worth it,


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